You may have noticed in last week’s post that there was no mention of triathlons in the list of possible races.  Why? Well, there are a couple reasons.

Upon moving here I’ve found that triathlons seem few and far between.  There are VERY few lakes available for open water swimming and the races I have found call for the swim portion to be done in a pool.  That’s not necessarily bad but it would definitely be a different take.

I also haven’t gotten in the pool or seriously swam since early July. With our closest lake about 30-40 minutes away and lack of sufficient funds to join our local YMCA it doesn’t look like I’ll be back in the water regularly anytime soon.

(This is where the blog post makes me a little uncomfortable.  I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone a bit and sharing something I’ve held secret for a few months…..but it needs to be said.)

Although those are some pretty big setbacks I know I could really pursue and persevere if I wanted to.  To be honest at this very moment I don’t want to.  Why, you ask?  My whole experience of registering for my first Half Rev3, starting training, and then sacrificing it for our move has rocked me to the core a bit….in several ways.

Quite frankly I had no idea what I got myself into when I signed up.  You see, I only have sprint triathlon experience.  I knew signing up would be a HUGE undertaking, but I didn’t realize how huge it would be. From the first moments I was humbled in each training session.  As you know I don’t claim to be a super athlete but I can usually hold my own. I totally underestimated the bike and have repeatedly said that I thought it would be the easiest leg and has since proven to be my hardest sport.  Adding in the use of my first triathlon bike made it that much more challenging. Not only was I attempting distance on a bike but also learning the ins and outs of riding in aero position, all while attempting to clip in and out of the pedals….not too successfully.

True, I did have some successes here and there.  All of which I am grateful for.  No matter how small, all of our life experiences make us who we are, so I am not belittling them in any way.  Training is supposed to be hard and challenging….that’s one of the reasons I do what I do.  But honestly, I felt like each training session was a HUGE hurdle and I never really walked away feeling accomplished or “on top of the world” excited.  Most often I felt beat down, disheartened, and wondered what I got myself into. Although I got more confident in my biking I still never seemed to break that invisible barrier or acquired any speed (kind of sounds like my running too….)

When the opportunity for us to move to Arizona came about you may understand a bit better how it was easier for me to walk away from my Rev3CP registration.  In no way did I see our move as an easy out or running away from a challenge.  Lord knows there was much more that went into our decision than this race.  But after beating my head (and body) against a wall for months it’s safe to say I had my fill.

With that being said, passing on registration hasn’t been easy to swallow.  I acquired my Rev3 visor after volunteering last year.  I wore it with pride during my workouts but couldn’t help but feel like a fraud since I didn’t earn that visor.  The only thing that kept me wearing it was the drive it gave me when I would put it on and knowing that I would soon earn my place among those that have gone before me. Unfortunately that’s now not the case.  With the actual race this weekend I’m sure I’ll have my share of emotions coursing through my brain. (By the way I’ll be sending positive energy and thoughts to all those racing!)

As I’ve stated previously, Rev3 is a class act group of people.  They are amazing in many ways and I would absolutely love to be part of their team someday (gotta get better at the sport and work on my race resume though).  I have no plans on giving up on the sport of triathlon or my dream of running a Rev3 race. I do know that I’ve enjoyed mixing up my training since arriving in Arizona and that I have many more dreams to fulfill in my lifetime.

For now I think it’s best I take time to allow the dust to settle, reassess my abilities, and scale back to more attainable short term goals.  Once I get that all in line I will need to realize that just like with running, if I want to run a half Rev3 I’m going to have to work my ass off harder than most normal people do.

Until then….

Keep Smiling and Be Grateful =)